Ok, I haven’t posted here in some time and I’m guessing not many people have come knocking on this website. But for the few that have come, I want to say thanks for stopping by! I will be updating this more regularly now because I’m in the process of finishing off some books that I have been writing! WOOT!
So I haven’t been lazy, just busy with other writing! More to come soon!
Now, you may be wondering what a pen and paying attention would have in common. But fortunately for you, I am here to tell you!
I had lunch today, with 24 coworkers. Yes, 24. At the end of lunch, the waitress had three pens. Now, everyone needed a pen because we all paid with credit cards. I watched carefully, and each person who had a pen then discarded the pen on the table when they were done. Not one person looked around to see who needed the pen next. Not one person bothered to ask if anyone needed it, nor did they push the pen where others could reach for it.
On the second round of pen nab, not one person did a hand off of the pen. And this continued until we all miraculously filled out the paperwork.
Why hadn’t anyone bothered to pass a pen to another? Was it that they were not paying attention? How could this be? Each person, aside from the first three, experienced the anxiety of not having a pen handed off to them. So, absolutely no one extended more courtesy than what was shown to them. Each person mindlessly discarded the pen, and went about their business.
I think I was the only person that felt disgust and shock by this behavior. Common courtesy, in the tiniest of forms completely abandoned for personal mindless behavior. Now, we weren’t even in a building that was on fire, or in a trench during a firefight. To me, this means that all of these people would stand around and watch as another human being got beaten down. Not one of these people would sacrifice an ounce of anything that would not immediately benefit themselves. All of these people were truly selfish. This makes me feel like I can’t trust these people for anything!
Now, maybe I’m being dramatic, and perhaps I’m just used to being around martial artist who always pay attention to these things. Is this just a Seinfeld moment, or is it more indicative of a culture lacking substance?
There comes a point in everyone’s life, or so it would seem to me from my perspective, that everyone has a dream of the life they want to live. This may be a vague dream, such as living happily ever after. Or perhaps it is more concrete, like wanting to be a New York Times bestselling author. But, this drive to create exactly the image of the life you want is very compelling, or very scary for many of us.
Excuse me while I change my tone to biblical for a short duration:
And the Naysayers shall spit venom, and their words will be like poison onto you. Listen not to the mouths of fools and those that may call you friend. Listen only to the voice inside you that is calling out for more. Calling out for the dream that keeps your spirit alive. For if we silence our own inner voice, what is it in life that will ever matter henceforth?
The dream. What is more difficult? Making the dream happen, or finding the right dream to have? It would seem like dreams are moving targets, and the trick is to have the target move forward and not backward. Perhaps loosely holding onto an idea is better than griping it so tight it slips through our grasp. And dreams are subjective and very personal. Your dream may to become a butcher, which I may scoff at unintentionally. But this should not sway our hearts and minds should it? After all, it is our dream, and no one else’s. If you want to cut beef for a living, then by all means, make that joy happen! Send me a slice of dry aged steak and show me the error of my ways! And above all, let the joy of that dream manifest and spread to others like a plague of awesome.
Everyone needs a dream. Otherwise life is just a big exercise in treading water.
The other day I invited a friend out to lunch, and he told me he was “too busy.” He later added, that he had so much that he had to do, that he couldn’t possibly go.
Ok, now, we have often heard this excuse from people in our lives and it is no big deal. Or is it? What is actually being said when this phrase is spoken? Upon reflection I felt myself getting more and more annoyed by this answer. Too busy? Are you implying that I am not busy? Are you implying that you work harder than me because you have some errand scheduled? Do you think that I do not pull my own weight or work as hard as you because I can schedule my life better?
Too busy in martial arts means that your movements are clumsy. Too busy while performing martial arts makes it look like it takes a great deal of effort. Sword masters look slow, not fast. Appearing fast means you are trying to hard, and putting in too much muscle instead of allowing the sword to do what it does best; which is to cut.
Saying that you are too busy to others tells people two things. One, it tells them that you are less important than whatever else it is they have going on. Two, it makes it appear as though you are not in control of your schedule or your life. As a business owner, or even as an employee, we don’t want to appear too busy. This makes others believe that you are not fully capable of handling your position. People will naturally begin to doubt your competence and doubt your ability to resolve simple matters.
Telling others that you are too busy will eventually push those persons away. Now, perhaps that is the point. Like having to wash your hair in order to avoid a date. That is fine when we are young, but as we mature, shouldn’t our language also mature?
I don’t like the word technology, it’s a non word like “situation.”
“We’ve got a situation over here.” Ok genius, everything is a situation. Your Mom coming over for brunch is a situation. Just like Paper and fire are both technology. Not interested in these non words, and I’m perplexed why we feel compelled and more educated for using them.
I heard a vending machine described this way: “..It’s a proprietary dynamic merchandising technology…”
IT’S A GOD DAMN VENDING MACHINE!!
Ditto for paper towels, “Trap and Lock Technology!” Um. It’s a paper towel. You use it to clean up spills. No, you misunderstand, this has TRAP AND LOCK technology.
If you are in the advertising agency, please punch yourself in the face if you have created this hysteria over technology. And if you are one of those morons that buys into it, also punch yourself in the face.
Take the five speed razor, or five speed vacuum cleaner as examples or marketing genius or contributors to the dumbing down of our society. Why would you need five speeds for these devices? How about just an on button. Who vacuums their carpet on the lowest setting? Who uses third gear to trim their mustache? You turn that shit on, or you turn that shit off!
Last year, I almost got swooped up in the Tech craze and I almost bought an iPad. Now, don’t get me wrong, these gadgets are cool. But what role does it serve exactly? It’s not a phone, and it’s not a computer. I have a computer at work and a computer at home, so I don’t really need this device in lieu of a computer. Also, I already have a phone so I’m unclear on the role that this device serves.
I prefer the time where technology had more art to it than science. I like the old radios that have fancy woodwork, and craftsmanship to them. Now, all our stuff is meant to be thrown out. In five years the first iPad will look like a Vic 20.
Breathing:
When we are mad our breath becomes erratic. When we are sad, our breath become shallow. When we are at peace, our breath is even and natural. And so, practice breathing, calm and deeply right before bed, and right when you wake up each day. Close your eyes and put your mind at your center, and imagine that your breath goes from your nose and into your center, and out from your center and out your mouth. Reality is, the air goes into your lungs, but we are going to trick ourselves by drawing that breath further in. Only take in as much air before you tense up, and only exhale until before you tense up. The goal is to feel relaxed and calm, and to change our mood by our breath.
Be happy first. Choose happiness. You can’t always choose circumstances or situations that life presents you, but you can choose to change the way you personally feel about anything. And so we can trick our minds into a better state by breathing more like we would when we are happy.
Imagine you are on your deathbed. Imagine too, that you are conscious and in full control of your faculties, just waiting for your turn at death. At this moment, do you think you would want more money? Or more time?
Time is not money. Time is more valuable than money.
So let me ask you this. What is it that you do at work all day? Do you watch the clock and wish the day would go by faster? Are you wishing away your life? Are you spending countless hours in a horrible commute? For what? This is wasted time, time you could have used in a better way. Why must we wish our lives away? Why must we dream of being somewhere else?
I’m guessing the biggest cause of this is boredom. Now this is difficult to accept sometimes because we just may not know we are bored. We can be lulled into thinking we are fine by routine, but often times our hopes and dreams become largely just fantasy and then boredom sets in. You are not exactly where you would like to be are you? It is time to change all of that don’t you think?
Ok now you are ready for change right? So where to start? How do you tackle this mountain? The answer is surprisingly simple. Start with the dream, in this metaphor the dream is climbing the mountain and reaching the summit. Ok, identify your dream is then the first goal. Second step is to literally take a baby step in that direction. Want to lose weight? Cut out the sugar water drinks, and take 20 minute walks at lunch time. DONE. Next!
Want a new job/career? Spend some of that useless time at work, and work on finding you skills or knowledge. Stop wasting time, and do what it is you want to do. No one will do it for you.
In case you were wondering if having your front tooth ground down to a tiny stub was a pleasant experience, I can dispel this illusion. HOLY FRAK was that painful. They tie this string around the tooth and pull it tight to remove the gum from the tooth. NOT PLEASANT. Then they strap this contraption to your face, which is held in place with elastic bands that are strapped on your teeth. Well the bands don’t fit right, so they jam them in there with pliers. NOT PLEASANT.
Then the grinding happens. This process does not take 5 minutes, or 10 minutes. Hell, not even 45 minutes. ONE HOUR of grinding on that tooth. Stopping only when I had to hit them because I was choking on my own spit. Yeah that was awesome.
Knowing full well that there was nothing I could do, I concentrated on relaxing my breathing, relaxing my body. And most importantly, allowing the pain and discomfort to happen. This made me feel much more in control, and therefore comfortable, through the whole process. It wasn’t like I found a happy place or power animal. I made the conscious decision to allow these people to mess with my face, and I didn’t fight them. The nurse even commented that she’s never seen anyone so calm before during such a procedure.
The doc didn’t say anything to me and he was all business. This felt so strange, like I was just a dresser he was sanding or something. Then they had to take several forms of my teeth. Well the goop they used slid down my throat and choked me good. I was waving my hands trying to get them to help. But then I realized they wouldn’t so I slowed my heart down, and breathed through my nose.
Then there is the smell. Imagine burning hair but worse.
And the pressure. AHHH.
Oh, and I guess my body processes that numbing agent really well. It wore off during the grinding of my tooth. They were surprised because they gave me a lot. Well, the second one wore off too, but by that time they were done with the grinding.
I had to have a special porcelain tooth ordered, but it looks as though they matched the colors correctly. Several days after the whole ordeal, I can easily forget the experience. However, the lesson for me here was clear. Relax, and allow medical professionals to just do their job, and you can be done all that much faster.
Think Positive
Well, thanks. We hear this a lot in our lives, but rarely do we apply it. In fact, sometimes we have violent reactions to people who tell us to do this. We instinctively know that thinking positively is good for us, and yet we choose not to do it a great deal of the time. So the question is, why?
Are we self destructive by nature? Perhaps. Are we lazy? Sure, there is an element of familiarity to being stuck in a certain place. Or perhaps we just don’t know how?I’m going to use some power of positive thinking and say it isn’t due to our destructive nature or laziness, but instead it is because we don’t know how.
Positive thinking begins with happiness. It is exceptionally difficult to create positive thoughts while you are struggling for your own survival, dealing with loss or tragedy. For most of us and for most of the time though, we are just stuck. Stuck in routine. Stuck in our jobs. Stuck in obligations that we don’t want to do. Stuck.
We do have choice. Even when we are stuck in a rut, we have the choice to be happy or being withdrawn or upset. Ok, your car just ran out of gas and you are late for a meeting. You can choose to punch your car, curse the heavens and scream bloody murder (which can help sometimes). But after that is done, you are clearly stuck in this situation. Choose to be stuck there! Humans do not like being caged, and whenever we are caged, we either withdraw or lash out at others or at ourselves. But what if you instead faked being happy! YAY my car is out of gas! Yay I’m going to miss that boring meeting I didn’t want to go to in the first place! WOOOHOO, I can listen to that new album I bought on my iPod!
Spin it. Fake it. Enjoy it. We spend far too much time brooding over ridiculously stupid minutia. Get over it. Get happy now. Be happy right where you are right now. Sure we all want millions. Sure it will help with the bills, but if you don’t improve how you feel, no one else will and having millions won’t change that. Take the wheel and drive your life.
Advice from Sensei:
When I was fifteen or sixteen, I was training in full contact Karate. I was a bit shorter then, and only 150lbs. There were others in the class that were bigger, faster, and stronger. Often I would get hit, and I’d be down on the floor. I had my face punched so hard I thought the bones in my back were broken.
At any rate, I was tired of getting pummeled and tired of not being able to do anything about it. So I went up to my Sensei (Bob Guse at the time) and I asked him. “Sensei, how can I block more effectively.”
His reply both stunned and confused me, “Don’t get hit.” He said.
I squinted my eyes, and rephrased the question, “How can I block his kick better, I keep getting tagged.”
Guse Sensei looked at me and said, “Don’t be there, and don’t get hit.”
“Um…well, how can I block his punch then?”
“Don’t let him hit you,” Bob Guse said.
I thanked him, but I didn’t know exactly how I was supposed to magically not be there, and magically not get hit. That part, as it turned out, took about 25 years to understand. I had inadvertently asked the most fundamental and persistent question that plagues most martial artists. At the time I basically dismissed Guse Sensei’s comments, and kept it away from the surface of my mind. It was only until much later, when I met Ito Sensei that I finally understood.
This is how I met Ito Sensei.
My best friend, training partner, and business partner Brent Yamamoto had met Ito Sensei, and was very excited for me to meet him. So I went out to a friend’s dojo, Kris Wilder out in West Seattle, to meet Ito Sensei. Now, I’ve met a lot of quacks over the years. People giving themselves 10th degree black belts, and people claiming they know this or that. So, I was coming from a deep root of skepticism. I suited up with the rest of the Yudansha, and stretched out in a corner.
Brent brought Ito Sensei over to me, a 60 year old Japanese man. “Punch me.” Ito Sensei said to me in a thick Japanese accent.
“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if I misheard him. We hadn’t even shaken hands yet.
“Punch me!” Ito Sensei said again, this time sounding really annoyed.
So I look over at Brent, and he’s got this shit eating grin all over his face, he nods to me giving me the go ahead. I square up with Ito Sensei, who was now pointing at his solar plexus. I gave him a 50% punch.
Nothing happened, and Ito Sensei yelled this time, “NO! PUNCH ME!”
So I hit him again, and again, and again. Each time I dialed up what I thought of as power back then. Each blow landed squarely in his solar plexus. Each punch did exactly nothing to him. He didn’t block, he didn’t evade, he stood there and took it. And my punches did absolutely nothing to him. I was stunned.
“Craig San,” Ito Sensei said, “Now I hit you. This is only 5%,” Ito Sensei then raised his hand and tapped me in the chest. I collapsed and flew to the ground. All my 20 years of experience washing over me in a haze of WTF and horror, as I had never experienced such power before in my life.
I got up, wheezing and out of breath, but trying not to show how compromised I really was.
“Now,” Ito Sensei said, “I teach you how to punch.”