Author | Entrepreneur | Martial Artist

Technology Hysteria

I don’t like the word technology, it’s a non word like “situation.”

“We’ve got a situation over here.”  Ok genius, everything is a situation.  Your Mom coming over for brunch is a situation.  Just like Paper and fire are both technology.  Not interested in these non words, and I’m perplexed why we feel compelled and more educated for using them.

I heard a vending machine described this way:  “..It’s a proprietary dynamic merchandising technology…”

IT’S A GOD DAMN VENDING MACHINE!!

Ditto for paper towels, “Trap and Lock Technology!”  Um.  It’s a paper towel.  You use it to clean up spills.  No, you misunderstand, this has TRAP AND LOCK technology.

If you are in the advertising agency, please punch yourself in the face if  you have created this hysteria over technology.  And if you are one of those morons that buys into it, also punch yourself in the face.

Take the five speed razor, or five speed vacuum cleaner as examples or marketing genius or contributors to the dumbing down of our society.  Why would you need five speeds for these devices?  How about just an on button.  Who vacuums their carpet on the lowest setting?  Who uses third gear to trim their mustache?  You turn that shit on, or you turn that shit off!

Last year, I almost got swooped up in the Tech craze and I almost bought an iPad.  Now, don’t get me wrong, these gadgets are cool.  But what role does it serve exactly?  It’s not a phone, and it’s not a computer.  I have a computer at work and a computer at home, so I don’t really need this device in lieu of a computer.  Also, I already have a phone so I’m unclear on the role that this device serves.

I prefer the time where technology had more art to it than science.  I like the old radios that have fancy woodwork, and craftsmanship to them.  Now, all our stuff is meant to be thrown out.  In five years the first iPad will look like a Vic 20.

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